Edmonton Psychologist | Conflict Resolution

In Edmonton psychologist is sometimes a tricky thing to find. The good news at rediscovery psychology you can sit down with an Edmonton psychologist for a free 15 minute consultation. To see this Edmonton psychologist there is no referral that is needed, and we have three locations to serve you best. Many couples are suffering over conflict issues. When they come into see us at rediscovery psychology, we help them with communication strategies so they can work through the conflict.

Edmonton Psychologist

The most common causes of divorce or conflict, irretrievable breakdown in the relationship and arguing. This is why we help couples, individuals and families work through these areas so that each person can rediscover themselves and rediscover their connections. There are some common reasons why couples have a hard time getting past conflict. Many people think that it is a bad sign if there is conflict but in reality, it is healthy to have it. It is all in how you deal with it and get through it.

One of the first areas that people make a mistake around conflict is letting it go without talking about it. They would rather avoid their spouse’s reaction and just shuffle the conflict under the rug. The problem with this strategy is that the conflict never gets dealt with and it becomes a repeated argument over and over. Ignoring it and hoping it will go away ultimately does not work in the conflict just comes back around and you end up having the same argument over and over.

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When couples come into work with us to resolve their conflict, they quickly find out that it is not about finding resolution but rather a focus on finding out what is underneath the conflict. We help them do a deep dive into their value systems as a couple and as individuals. We uncover these areas so that we can help the two, to a negotiation or compromise in the relationship.

Another reason people fail at conflict and ultimately experienced divorce is that they try to fix the other person or try to change that other person’s point of view. Each one of us has our own perspective and that is what makes us unique. We came together as a couple because we enjoy the other person for who they were so ultimately it is not about changing the other person’s perspective but rather appreciating them where they are at and we help couples work through this. Instead of butting heads and trying to change the other person’s perspective we help them to flesh out that point of view.

We even ask each spouse to take on the other spouse’s point of view for a moment suspending their own perspective to help work through that conflict. Raising her voice can seem like a natural reaction to conflict but it has some detrimental effects. Usually makes the other person become defensive and kick into a fight or flight mode. Again the conflict is not dealt with it is either ignored or there is just explosive fighting that happens.

Edmonton Psychologist | Resolution Versus Negotiation

To find a great Edmonton psychologist please visit rediscover psychological services. We offer a free 15 minute consult with an Edmonton psychologist and no referral is needed. We even have three locations to serve you best so if you are ready to meet with in Edmonton psychologist and rediscover yourself, please connect with us. We offer in person, virtual or telephone appointments with an affordable Edmonton psychologist. When you meet with us, we even offer you a free copy of our resiliency toolkit. At our practice we treat anxiety, depression and PTSD for individuals, couples and families.

When couples come into see us it is usually around conflict issues. We help them work through their conflict by offering communication strategies that work. We know that the three most common causes of divorce are conflict, irretrievable breakdown in the relationship and arguing. As we worked with many couples and individuals and families, we have noticed a pattern of five mistakes that people make when they are having conflict. We help couples work through these mistakes they are making in their relationships. We help them rediscover their connection and ultimately rediscover themselves.

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The first mistake that most couples make is they let go of the conflict without working through it. They do not talk about it in the avoid it altogether so that they can avoid their spouse’s reaction. The problem with this strategy is that the argument just pops up over and over again. There is no resolve by sweeping the conflict under the rug. Ultimately it is not about finding a resolution but rather a focus on finding out what is underneath the conflict. What is motivating the argument that keeps coming up.

We help couples negotiate and compromise by looking at the value systems that they have in their relationship and as individuals.

When trying to fix the other person are trying to change their perspective conflict just continues to be present and is never dealt with. Butting heads on differing perspectives is the biggest issue with this kind of conflict. You are not going to change the other person’s perspective, but you can step into their shoes and see things from their point of view for a moment. We ask one partner to suspend their own perspective and try to gain some understanding and hold space for the other partner when they are working through their conflict.

By raising your voice to make yourself heard it makes the other person defensive during conflict. This causes them to go into fight or flight mode, so we always suggest to stop using this as a weapon in your relationship. Again, when the other person is defensive, and they go into fight or flight you are not dealing with the conflict, and it is getting ignored and therefore not dealt with. Ultimately this leads to the same argument in raising a voice coming back again.