Couples Counselling Edmonton | Benefits of Couples Counseling Before Marriage
Couples counselling is beneficial for every couple whether they are married or are planning to get married. It is a term used interchangeably with premarital counselling or premarital therapy, but it can help couples after they are married too. When challenges show up in the relationship it can cause unhealthy behaviours to occur. There are many blind spots that each partner falls victim too as well.
This is where the benefits of couples counselling can help. It is important to go back to the basics or foundations of a relationship to figure out where things are going off track and address the issues that are present. There are some common areas that are addressed and worked through to help the couple overcome the challenges they may face. Ideally these are worked through before the marriage even begins, but it’s never too late to make the adjustments to help a relationship grow in a healthy way.
Communicate your feelings with each other
One of the most important skills in any relationship is communication. The goal in counselling is to improve the ability to express what feelings and thoughts are present. Couples counselling is a safe place to learn these skills. Thoughts, feelings, and needs are shared openly and honestly so that each partner is understood and respected. All this works together to make the relationship stronger.
Conflict is normal in a relationship
Conflict happens in every relationship. No couple gets away from it because every person is unique and brings their own value system into the relationship. Through couples counselling, the couple benefits from the therapist’s help in learning the skills to handle conflict in a constructive manner. The goal is never to resolve it but rather work to understand the partner’s point of view in their belief system. Instead of belittling, criticizing, or stonewalling, the couple is given the tools to come to a compromise in viewpoints as well as remain respectful and caring toward the partner. The goal is to handle disagreements with a positive win/win outcome for each person.
As mentioned, each person brings a unique set of values and beliefs into the marriage and with that comes certain expectations. Many times, these are not said out loud and are assumed. This can be a constant trigger for conflict. Each partner cannot read the other’s mind including expectations. These must be shared out loud.
Find Common Ground With Couple Counselling Sessions
Common ground must be established so that each person is not only heard and valued but also knows the roles they may have in the relationship. This may show up in parenting styles, money-handling behaviours, future goals, and visions. It can even be around hobbies and interests. It’s best to know what things are non-negotiable and what things are acceptable in a compromise. Something as simple as bedtime routines and schedules are things that could be identified as potential areas that don’t align. Talking openly and honestly about these things will reduce the tension and help bring understanding and hopefully some compromise.
Each person is an individual but there is every reason to come together harmoniously so that you share in the joy of life together spending time with someone you love to be around. Talking about and sharing personal expectations will help reduce unnecessary stress. Additionally, or alternatively, this is a time where the couple might discover they are completely mismatched in values, and this is addressed in a constructive way as well to see if there is little hope for success in a future healthy relationship. Couples counselling is about being honest and realistic in expected outcomes.
If it is found that the couple has potential for being a great match, couples counselling can help strengthen the commitment of the relationship. This is a safe time to admit fears, concerns, doubts, and stress in the relationship.
All of this builds a stronger, more stable foundation for a successful marriage that beats the statistics of a high divorce rate. Of course, things are always evolving so it is important to come back to this safe space of sharing the concerns as they rise.
Explore The Values And Beliefs Of The Relationship
This has been touched on already, but there is good reason to go deeper into the topic of exploring values and beliefs in the relationship.
Each partner is encouraged to share their specific values and beliefs around important life experiences such as religion, family, finances, career, and hobbies. The goal is to understand the partner and learn where there is compatibility with one another as well as where there are weak spots are that will need more work and compromise.
Finances is a very important area to address before getting married. It is often the number one thing that destroys relationships. It’s not the money itself but the fact it is needed to survive. It’s important to know each partner’s attitude towards money and how it is to be spent. It is imperative that the couple understand what money management behaviours are present as well as how they want to plan their financial future goals.
Be confident in trusting your partner
Trust and intimacy are some of the most important goals addressed in couples counselling. Past hurts, insecurities, trust issues and attachment styles are uncovered and worked through to help build a secure and intimate relationship within the marriage.
Strengths and weaknesses are identified in each partner during couples counselling. It is important to know both so that the couple can relish in success as well as build up areas that need support and attention. It is best to celebrate and further build areas of strength within the relationship. Also, any potential areas of weakness can be worked on proactively before they have a chance to hinder the relationship.
Different phases of life or transitions are worked through and discussed in couples counselling. Things like starting a family, career moves or even moving are some examples of this. Having strategies and a plan of how these life changes will be dealt with as a couple will help make the transitions easier or smoother.
Book a Counselling session today
Having a plan of how to handle all the challenges in marriage before saying “I do” will give a couple a better chance of success in keeping it healthy and successful. If you are struggling in your marriage now, it is best to go to the foundations of what makes a happy thriving relationship work. Couples counselling can give you the tools and insights. Contact ReDiscover Psychological Services to get started with a couple’s counsellor in building a lasting, fulfilling marriage.