Edmonton Psychologist | Questions About Couples Therapy
Many people come to the realization that they are having issues in the relationship and do not know where to begin to work through it to have a happy outcome. They have done their best to resolve the issues with skills they have. This is the first indicator that it is time to seek outside help and direction. Usually that is when we see a new couple come in for therapy. At ReDiscover Psychology we want to help you rediscover yourself and your connections.
If you realized you need help from one of our therapists but do not know what to expect or even do first, this article will give you some direction. You can make a call to us to book a free 15 minute with one of our affordable psychologists. There is no need for a referral, and we will help you feel safe speaking with us.
When it comes to couples therapy there are many questions and things running through a person’s mind. They wonder if it will be helpful for one thing. There is usually some anxiety or apprehension as to what to expect. If this is you asking a lot of questions before you start, we have some answers to help you about what to expect at therapy.
Any issue is welcome
One of the first things many people wonder is what would bring a couple into couples therapy. There are many issues or areas that plague a relationship, and we deal with them all. All the couples we work with have come in to get help with general communication problems. From there every relationship has other more in-depth issues specific to the relationship. These issues fall into categories like financial, infidelity, problems with children, blended families, and addictions. We deal with all these areas.
Concisely we help with anything that can cause problems in a relationship. Another reason couples come in to see us is for premarital work. The purpose for this is they want skills. To have preventative measures in place to help better manage conflict in the future is a healthy start to any relationship.
Getting your foot in the door
If you are asking what do when you want to see a couple’s therapist, but your partner does not then you share the same concern that many others do too. Firstly no one can be forced to go to therapy whether that be couples, family or individual. However, you can work on issues and coping strategies in individual therapy that can be applied to your partnership. The good news is that if you can get the unwilling partner in for one to two sessions it goes a long way to getting their foot in the door and coming back for more sessions down the road.
Helping With Your Questions About Couples Therapy
Did you know that we can help you work through issues when you are going through a separation or divorce? If there is one partner that wants to part ways but the other does not, we can help you work through this situation. We have strategies we provide to help you have an amicable divorce as well as how to go forward in a healthy way when coparenting is a concern. This therapy can also help with giving hope for your future as you learn to navigate as a single person.
Many people ask us how we structure couple’s therapy. They want to know what the details are session by session. It is always a relief to know what you are walking into especially when the stress is already high in your relationship. The first session is an informed consent session. You may be asking another question now of what is meant by informed consent? This is when permission is granted by the couple to the psychologist in mutual agreement to receive intervention that will help treat and heal the couple’s relationship.
There is disclosure and a discussion of roles, rules and responsibilities that will be maintained throughout therapy. These points are typically referred to as housekeeping items.
Look towards future sessions
In the next sessions we work progressively through the issues that are explored in the therapy rapport. We do not start with an issue that is ultra intense. If we were to rate them the first scenarios explored would be around a three and not a ten. We do not go into an explosive dynamic of the relationship when we start therapy. We hope to work our way up to that in multiple sessions. Keep in mind most sessions are around one and a half hours each.
What happens in couples therapy is dependent on each couple. The goal is not to stop fighting but to be more effective in the conflict. Additionally, we want there to be less hurting each other or at least to the same extent as in the past. We help each of the partners understand their attachment style or lens. This lens is the most prominent thing we bring into to the relationship, and it molds and motivates us in all our decisions and behaviours. We help give the skills as well as strengthen them to bring about effective strategies when working through existing and new conflict in the relationship.
One question we have been asked a lot is if you can see a couple’s therapist individually. We feel this is not an ideal situation because as we dig deeper into the individual it becomes hard to keep what has been learned in individual therapy out of the couples therapy. Seeing the couple separated poses a conflict of interest in the couple’s therapy. We refer the individual out to individual therapy to run along side the couple’s therapy.
If you and your partner are ready to make some changes and learn some skills in how to deal with conflict effectively, please call us at ReDiscover Psychological Services. We would love to find out more about you and how we can help you rediscover your relationship so you can move forward in a healthy way while enjoying a more vibrant and fulfilling life.