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Edmonton Psychologist | 10 Ways to Connect with Your Spouse
Everyone wants to have a beautiful, long-lasting, and loving relationship. One where you connect deeply, grow together and are safe to express yourself. There are some simple things you can do daily to enrich your connection. If your goal is to rediscover your relationship or start a new one on the right path, read the following ten things you can do to connect with your loved one.
One of the easiest but best ways to connect with your spouse is to develop daily small rituals between you and your partner. These are things that you can express to your loved one every single day to show that they matter to you. Some notable examples are a kiss or bringing them their morning cup of coffee.
It is really cold in Alberta so in the winter it can be something as thoughtful as starting their car in the morning for them a few minutes before they need to leave the house. Find something that demonstrates to your partner how much they matter to you. The point is to express your love through doing something kind or helpful.
Spend time together to build a bond
Another way to connect with your spouse or partner is to spend five minutes debriefing your day with one other. It does not really matter when you do this, but many couples find that during dinner is an ideal time. The goal is to share how your day went and what some of the highlights were. Staying connected takes regular communication. By letting your partner know what is going on in your world it keeps the relationship strong and more transparent. This is a great way to keep a healthy daily flow happening.
Another rewarding way to stay connected with your loved one is to share humour. This is a simple act that allows you to be fun and positive with your partner. If you can laugh at each other’s jokes as well with one another it builds the bond in the relationship. Humour is one of the most attractive things for most of us. Keeping things light in your relationship makes it a fun place to be.
This next way to connect with your spouse is through touch. This is an important one for many as it is the way they want to express love and be shown love, a simple holding of hands can go a long way in the relationship. Because touch is some people’s love language it is a powerful message to show your partner you genuinely care. A simple reach for the hand is all it takes to feel that connection. It tells your partner “You are my person.” This holding of hands does not have to be for a long time. It can be as short as two minutes.
Participate and enjoy the same activities or hobbies
Another great bonding way to connect is to do an activity together in your relationship. Not only will you connect as a couple, but the action of the activity can help with staving off depression. Exercise has so many physical, mental, emotional benefits but it can also help you connect on a deeper level when you do activity together. This can be as simple as going for a walk together, having a game night, and joking around and having laughter. Doing activities together in your partnership can bring a lightness to the relationship.
By doing something special for your partner it informs them you are thinking of them, and they are important to you. These simple or more complicated acts of service show your loved one, you are listening and paying attention to their needs and desires. Many people feel loved when the mundane things are done for them. Something like making their lunch or putting their laundry away can go a long way in the relationship especially if it is done regularly. It does not have to be the same thing all the time but when it is done, it makes a special statement that your partner is valued and loved.
Understand your partner’s love language
Something that is talked about a lot is love languages. It is simple nowadays to figure out where we land on the spectrum of how we feel loved and how our partner does too. We can even take a free online quiz to discover this. It helps to not only discover your own love language but also your loved one’s. The goal from there is to learn to express love in that way.
This may take some time to develop skills around this technique, but it will be well worth it, and you can connect on a deep level with your partner when you are speaking their love language. Their love tank will be full, and you will be paid back in kind.
This next way to connect is a bit more involved because you will need to do your homework and really get to know and pay attention to your partner. When you notice something that you love about your spouse and comment on it you not only will appreciate them more deeply, but they will also feel that appreciation deeply too. A good example of this is if your partner gets a haircut, be sure to mention how nice their new haircut is. It will have a profound effect.
Communicate the little things
If you notice your partner laughing and having great fun with the kids, mention how much joy that brings you. Do you and your partner notice the trivial things that in fact are the important things? Bring it up and brag on them. There is so much criticism in a relationship it is powerful to have the opposite.
One last way to connect with your spouse is to spend time together often that does not involve watching TV. You could be at home, or out and about on a date. The goal is to connect with your spouse before the end of the day. You can just even be in the same room without doing anything together. Nothing says I love you more than I enjoy your presence and want to be around you.