Edmonton Psychologist | Causes of Divorce
Looking for a Edmonton psychologist can be overwhelming if you do not understand what you are looking for. You might need help with conflict resolution or just simple communication strategies. You might even need extensive one-on-one help but if you are not sure which Edmonton psychologist to connect with it can be a daunting task to choose. The good news is at rediscover psychology you can have a 15 minute free consultation. We would love to sit down with you and see how we can help you rediscover yourself and rediscover your connections.
At rediscover we help you in person, virtually or on the telephone. You can find an affordable Edmonton psychologist for individual therapy, couples therapy or family therapy. We can help you treat anxiety, depression or PTSD. There is no referral needed and we have three locations to serve you best.
When couples come into to see us with concerns about working on their relationships, we help them with communication strategies. Some of the most common causes of divorce are conflict, irretrievable breakdown in the relationship and arguing. The most common of these is conflict and how to deal with it. It is not bad to have conflicts, but it is how you deal with it makes all the difference.
When thinking of how to do conflict right a lot of common mistakes are made in this arena. The first mistake that many couples make is letting the conflict go without talking about it. There is one spouse who avoids the other’s reaction so as to avoid conflict. This does not make the conflict go away it just makes it suppressed and eventually it comes back out in another argument. This will happen repeatedly in a cycle and does not ever really go away.
Eventually some couples decide to get divorced when they cannot see how to get past this. Some people think that you need to find a resolution to the conflict, but it is actually more of a negotiation or compromise that is the goal. We help couples deep dive into the valley systems that are present in their relationship and in them individually and move them through that.
Another common mistake that people make in conflict is trying to fix the other person or trying to change their perspective. You tend to end up butting heads to try to get the other person to take your perspective and it never really changes anything. Again, it becomes a cycle of over and over again. The strategy here is to flush out the perspective of the other person by adopting their perspective for a moment and suspending your own and we help couples do that.
Another thing that presents itself around conflict that does not help is raising our voice. We want to make sure the other person hears us sees us and understands us so we think that being louder is the way to do this. This does not help, and it often just makes the other person defensive and causes them to go into a fight or flight mode.
Edmonton Psychologist | Conflict Traps
At rediscover psychology we have an Edmonton psychologist for you to connect with. We help you to rediscover yourself and rediscover your connections by offering in person, virtual or on the phone appointments. You can find an affordable Edmonton psychologist with us. The good news is we offer a 15 minute free consultation to see how we can help you. We treat many different things such as anxiety, depression and PTSD. We do all of these through individual therapy, couples therapy or family therapy.
You do not need a referral to see an Edmonton psychologist at rediscover. We also Have three locations to serve you best.
When couples come into see us we notice common reasons for divorce and within that common mistakes made around conflict. Three of the most common reasons for divorce are conflict, irretrievable breakdown in the relationship and arguing. Couples come in showing that they have conflict issues and we help them tap into communication strategies to work through the conflict. We do not get rid of the conflict or even try to resolve it we help couples discover the underlying issues.
The first mistake that many couples make around conflict is they let it go without talking about it and then inevitably they avoid the spouse’s reaction. This obviously does not resolve the issue and just stuffs it down deeper where it festers and grows. Eventually it comes back up in another argument and it is a merry-go-round of conflict where the same argument is happening over and over again. What we try to help our clients do is work on negotiation and compromise where you take a look at the value system in individual and in the couple and work through that.
A lot of couples try to fix the other person or try to change that person’s perspective on there and the middle of conflict. The problem with this is that each person is unique and that is the whole reason you are attracted to that person is that they were different in some way from you. The conflict looks like butting of heads on differing perspectives when ultimately you are not going to be able to change the perspective of the other person with very much success.
We help our clients instead flush out the perspective. We even have one partner adopt the other’s point of view for a moment and suspend their personal point of view while doing that. This helps them to understand and get a better connection by listening more and looking through the other person’s lens.
Another area that is of concern when it comes to conflict and couples is raising our voice. One person wants to be heard and seen and they think that being louder it will be more effectively done. The problem with this is that the other person can become very defensive, and they can go into a fight or flight mode which is not a healthy place to be.