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Edmonton Psychologist | Conflict in Relationships
Seeing an Edmonton psychologist does not have to be a scary thing at all. It is not a sign of weakness or failure it is a sign of strength to seek help in an area that you might not have the answers or methods to solving. At rediscover psych we offer a 15 minute free consultation with an Edmonton psychologist. You do not need a referral to do this and we have three locations to make it convenient for you. We also offer in person, virtual or telephone appointments with an affordable Edmonton psychologist.
At rediscover psych we help treat anxiety, depression, PTSD and any sort of issues that come up in a relationship. We work with individuals, couples and families.
There are common reasons why couples come in but conflict issues is one of the top ones. We help couples work through the conflict by offering communication strategies. We not only want to help you rediscover yourself but also rediscover your connections at rediscover psych. We know that the divorce rate is really high and were really happy when couples come in to resolve the conflict in the relationships before they get to that divorce decision. The three most common reasons for divorce are number 1 Conflict, #2 irretrievable breakdown in the relationship and number three arguing.
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There are five main mistakes that people make around conflict. The first is they do not deal with it at all. It is not unhealthy to have conflict in your relationship it is a sign of being in a relationship. We are humans and we all come in with their own differing perspectives and sometimes that butts heads with another person and their different perspective. That does not make it wrong it just means we have to work harder to work through that conflict so that we do not have the same argument over and over again.
The goal is not to find a resolution to the conflict but rather to find out what is underneath it causing it. A lot of times we help couples come to negotiation or compromise by digging to find out what the value systems are that are going on in the relationship and on the individual level.
If you come into relationship trying to fix the other person or change their perspective you are going to find it not to be very successful. You might have less than 50% chance of changing the other person’s perspective. Instead, we help couples flush out their point of views and help each partner adopt the other partners point of view for a moment and suspend their own personal point of view.
Raising her voice in a relationship might be a really easy trap to fall into. We want to be heard and understood and so we think that if we just become a little louder that we can make that happen. What actually tends to happen is the other person goes on the defence and into fighter flight mode and the conflict does not work through and it becomes an issue.
Edmonton Psychologist | Master Your Conflict
If you have issues that keep coming up for you in as an individual or in your relationships and might be time to see an Edmonton psychologist. At rediscover psych we offer a 15 minute free consultation with an Edmonton psychologist. You can take advantage of this at three different locations as well as in person, virtually or over the phone. We want you to rediscover yourself and therefore rediscover your connections. A phone call to see an Edmonton psychologist is all that is needed to set this up as you do not need a referral.
When couples come into see us to work through conflict we offer many effective communication strategies. There are five common mistakes that people make around conflict. Number one they let it go and do not deal with the conflict when it comes up. Having conflict in a relationship is a healthy thing and it is unavoidable. You have two people that have differing perspectives coming together as a team so there is going to be conflict. How you deal with this is whether you have a successful relationship or not. Not about finding a resolution but rather finding a negotiation or compromise.
Trying to fix the other person or change their perspective does not work out very well. It tends to be abut heading contest because of the differing perspectives. You might have a 50% chance of changing the other person’s point of view so instead we help you flesh out your point of view so that the other person can adopted while suspending their own perspective. This helps them understand their partner and their needs.
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Raising your voice might feel like a way to be heard and understood but it tends to make the other person defensive. What ends up happening is the other partner goes into a fight or flight mode and there is a lot of anxiety that comes up in the relationship.
When resorting to calling names or putting your partners friends and family down it causes a lot of detrimental effect on the relationship. By being sarcastic you are going to build contempt in the relationship. When you are scoffing at your partner it can create emotional damage over time where loss of respect trust love and fondness happens.
These are all dressed detrimental to the relationship. What we do in therapy is help build the bond back up using a gentle startup method. We help you have admiration and respect for your partner but we never ask you to avoid conflict. Avoiding conflict always leads to bigger emotions down the road.
Sometimes in the relationship when conflict is heated it is okay if someone walks away for a bit to cool down and blow off steam. By not allowing them or blocking them you can make the situation much worse without even fixing anything. Some people become emotionally flooded and they need time to regroup.