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Edmonton Psychologist | Conflict Is Natural In Relationships
To help you work through any issues you have in your relationship it is a great thing to partner with in Edmonton psychologist. At rediscover psych we can offer a 15 minute free consultation with Edmonton psychologist to see if we are a good fit with you. We want to help you rediscover yourself and your connections so that you stop spinning your wheels in relationships and even in your personal journey.
When you sit down with one of our Edmonton psychologists you will quickly see that we help with individual therapy, couples therapy and family therapy. We can help you work through any anxiety might feel, depression or PTSD. We want you living a fulfilled and happy life not staying stuck in the past or in habits that leave you frustrated or broken.
When people come to see us about problems that they are having in their relationships it is usually around three reasons and conflict is the biggest one. Three causes of the breakdown of a relationship are usually conflict, irretrievable breakdowns and arguing. When couples come in to help with their conflict issues we offer effective communication strategies.
Commonly there are five mistakes that are being made around conflict in most relationships. For one thing many couples let go of the conflict without dealing with it. What ends up happening is it gets pushed down but it pops right back up in the next argument over and over again. Nothing is resolved or discovered about why the conflict keeps happening. We help you to negotiate and compromise to figure what is underneath the argument so you can move forward.
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If you try to fix the other person or change their point of view you will find that you are spinning your wheels as well. We help you by asking each partner to suspend their own personal perspective and take on the point of view of their partner so that they can gain a better understanding and be able to move forward in the conflict faster and easier with less damage to the relationship.
If you find that you are raising your voice or your partner is you know that usually causes the other person to become defensive. They often going to fight or flight mode and again this does not work through the conflict this just exacerbates it. If it is becomes a fight it becomes explosive and if it becomes a flight then it is not dealt with and it pops back up again.
Calling names and putting the friends and family down of your partner and being sarcastic is what Gottman calls contempt. When this enters a relationship there is a lot of emotional damage that happens over time. This damage is not forgotten but rather causes a loss of trust, respect, love and fondness. This becomes detrimental to the relationship and what we do here is help you to build the bond back up in your relationship. We use a gentle startup approach where admiration and respect are the goals.
Edmonton Psychologist | Sarcasm Kills Relationships
If you want to foster a more meaningful connection in your relationship but need some help it is time to see it Edmonton psychologist. At rediscover psych we can offer you a 15 minute free consultation to see an affordable Edmonton psychologist. We offer in person, virtual or telephone appointments. We work with individuals, couples and families by treating anxiety, depression and PTSD and anything else that ails your relationships. There is no referral needed to see this Edmonton psychologist and we have three locations to meet you where you are at. We want you to rediscover yourself and your connections.
Many couples come into CS because they are on the brink of our relationship meltdown. They usually are showing signs of conflict issues that are keeping them stuck in a rut in the relationship. Three of the most common causes of divorce or conflict, irretrievable breakdown in the relationship and arguing. Couples come in showing that they cannot work through these conflicts and we help by offering communication strategies. There are some common mistakes that are made around conflict by most couples.
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Letting go of the conflict without talking about it just because you want to avoid the spouses reaction does not help with the relationship. What ends up happening is the same argument comes back around again if it is not dealt with properly. It is not a matter of finding a resolution to this situation but rather digging below the surface to see what causing it and how you can move forward through and passed it. The goal in this situation of conflict is to negotiate and compromise to find out what value systems are being held and how you can move towards each other in appreciation.
If you are trying to fix the other person or change them to be more like you you are falling into another trap of conflict gone wrong. You might be butting heads on differing perspectives and thinking that this is never gonna change. We all come into a relationship differing perspectives and that is what makes the relationship unique. We do not want to change the other person partially because it is almost fruitless but rather we want to appreciate their point of view.
If we allow one partner to step into the other’s point of view for a moment they can become good listeners and it is easier to move forward in understanding each other. If you are finding that you are raising your voice a lot in your conflicts that means you are probably putting the other person on defence. This causes them to go into a fight or flight mode and this is not a healthy way to move through conflict.
If you are calling names or putting the other person down in their family and friends on also being sarcastic you are probably bringing out contempt in the relationship. We help you to build back the bond by having admiration respect for one another by using a gentle startup approach.