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Edmonton Psychologist | Conflict Negotiation
When you are looking for an Edmonton psychologist you can connect with rediscover psychological services. We have many professionals ready to help you rediscover your self and rediscover your relationships. As Edmonton psychologist we offer a free 15 minute consults that you do not need a referral for. From there we offer in person, virtual or telephone appointments to help you rediscover yourself and your connections. We are an affordable Edmonton psychologist that can treat anxiety, depression and PTSD.
We have three locations to serve you best. One is downtown the next is in the west and the last is in Capilano area.
When people come in to meet with us it is usually because there is a breakdown in the relationships and quite often reflects back to them as an individual. We help a lot of couples work through the relationship issues and we have discovered some common themes around the cause of divorce. The number one reason is continuous conflict. The second reason for divorce is irretrievable breakdown in the relationship. The third reason for divorce is arguing.
When we look at the first reason for divorce which is conflict, we see that there are five common mistakes that are made around conflict that most couples go through. The first thing that couples do is they let it go when they come into conflict without talking about it or working through it or even uncovering what is beneath. Instead the avoid the spouse’s reaction so that the conflict does not get out of hand. What this looks like is the same argument repeatedly.
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There is no way to resolve this it just keeps going around in circles and never gets worked through. When people come into CS to help them through this we are sure to show them that is not about finding a resolution to the conflict but rather digging to see what is underneath the conflict. What usually happens is we work towards finding a negotiation or compromise. A lot of communication strategies are offered to the couple to work through the conflict.
The next common mistake that couples make around conflict is trying to fix the other person or trying to change the other person’s perspective. We want them to see things the way we do and what ends up happening is it separates us even more from the other person. 50% or less of the time you will not be able to change the other person’s perspective anyway. The focus instead is fleshing out what the perspective is of the other partner. Then we have one partner adopt the point of view of the other for a moment and suspend their own.
Another common mistake in conflict is raising our voice. We tend to want to make the other person hear us or listen to us and so we think that if we speak louder our point will be made. This just causes the other person to become defensive and go into a fight or flight mode. This is where that person will either flee from the situation or they will fight back, and it just becomes a messy fight.
Edmonton psychologist | Common Causes Of Divorce
Looking for an Edmonton psychologist can be a daunting task. When you find rediscover psychology you can rest assured because you have found a great Edmonton psychologist. At our clinic we help you to rediscover yourself and rediscover your connections. We are in Edmonton psychologist who offers in person, virtual or telephone appointments with an affordable psychologist. We help treat the individual, couples and families. You can call to book a time with a free 15 minute consult with an Edmonton psychologist. You do not need a referral and we have three locations to serve you best.
At rediscover psychology we have treated many individuals, couples and families and have discovered some common themes when it comes to the breakdown in relationships. There are three main reasons for divorce that come up repeatedly. The first one is conflict, the second one is irretrievable breakdown in the relationship and the third is arguing. When it comes to helping couples through these issues, we offer communication strategies for them to use. There are five mistakes that couples exhibit when they are dealing with conflict in the relationship.
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The first is they let the conflict go without talking about it so that they can avoid the spouse’s reaction. One of the partners may bring up something and it might make the other person uncomfortable and so they ignore it till it goes away. What ends up happening is the same argument keeps coming up repeatedly. We do not help people resolve the arguments but rather we help them find out what is underneath the conflict. We lead the couple into a negotiation or compromise situation by discovering the core values that are going on in the couple and in the individual.
The next common mistake the people in make in relationships around conflict is trying to fix the other person or trying to change their perspective. This becomes like two heads butting up against each other with differing perspectives. Each person wants the other person to adopt the same point of view. The problem with this thinking as we lose our individuality and can become a shell of a person. The reason we were attracted to that other person in the first place is because they had their own unique perspective and we liked that about them. What we help our couples do is flush out the point of view.
We ask that the one partner adopt the other partner’s point of view for a moment and suspend their personal perspective while doing so. Another area that is common in conflict that causes more problems is raising our voice. We keep doing that so that the other person will hear us and understand us and take on our point of view but all it does is send the other person into fight or flight mode. That other person becomes defensive, and they want to protect themselves.