Edmonton Psychologist | How to Conflict
Maybe you have thought about seeing an Edmonton psychologist to help you with discovering yourself. This is why rediscover psychological services was created. When you connect with us you can connect with an Edmonton psychologist who can help you rediscover yourself and rediscover your connections. We offer a free 15 minute consult with a Edmonton psychologist and no referral is needed. Every new client gets a free copy of resiliency toolkit. We offer in person, virtual or telephone appointments all with an affordable psychologist.
We help individuals, couples and families work through any issues that are holding them back from having a fulfilling life. We have three locations to serve you better and we treat such things as anxiety, depression, PTSD as well as issues inside of relationships. Many couples come in because they are showing conflict issues. We help them by offering communication strategies so that they can work through this conflict in a healthy way that restores their connection. Most common causes of divorce are conflict, irretrievable breakdown in relationships and arguing. There are five common mistakes when dealing with conflict in a relationship that we have seen.
The first mistake the couples make is ignoring the conflict when it comes up. They let it go without talking about it or through it. Often one spouse wants to avoid the others’ reaction and therefore sweeps the conflict under the rug and it is not dealt with properly. The problem with this is that the same argument comes up over and over again and is never dealt with properly and in a healthy manner. Instead of finding a resolution to the conflict we help couples come to a negotiation or compromise around the conflict.
The first thing we do is dig deeper than the conflict to see what the underlying problem is. If there is always something underneath the conflict that needs to be dealt with to understand why the same argument comes up. We help couples come to a negotiation so that they can continue to live out their value system as a couple and as individuals.
When we try to fix another person or try to change their perspective without truly listening or understanding them conflict comes unhealthy. There is a butting of heads on differing perspectives. 50% or less of the time is how effective you might be in changing someone’s perspective. Instead of trying to change the other person we have one partner step into the shoes of the other partners perspective. This is just for a moment when trying to learn about the other person and hear them out rather than continuing to butt heads with them.
When getting into conflict often couples start raising their voices at each other so that they can be heard and understood. For some reason they think that being louder is going to achieve this but all it does is put the other person on defence and they also go into a fight or flight mode in response. This does not end the conflict but rather makes it worse.
Edmonton Psychologist | Do Conflict Better
Many people come and see an Edmonton psychologist to help them work through issues that are on a personal level in the individual and in the couple as well as the family. You might have thought about sitting down with an Edmonton psychologist to get some clarity so that you can live a better at rediscover psychology we help you rediscover yourself and rediscover your connections. We offer in person, virtual and over the phone appointments with an affordable Edmonton psychologist. There is no referral that is needed, and you have three locations to choose from to get the help that you need.
There are some common reasons that couples divorce. The first is conflict the second is irretrievable breakdown in the relationship and the third is arguing. When it comes to conflict there are five common mistakes that couples make. When couples come in and show conflict issues we help them work through the conflict with effective communication strategies.
One of the most common mistakes made in conflict is letting the conflict go without talking about it. This is usually because once partner wants to avoid the others’ reaction in the situation. Commonly the conflict gets swept under the rug and is not dealt with in any manner and therefore arguments pop up over and over again as they have never been dealt with in the first place. The goal is not to resolve the conflict but to talk it out and work through it and find a negotiation or compromise that works for both parties.
Their value systems in the couple’s relationship but also in the individual. All these things are worked through and uncovered so that the conflict is dealt with in a healthy way. If you try to fix the other person or change their perspective you will also run into another mistake in conflict. This usually looks like two heads butting up against each other because of the differing perspectives. Your success rate of changing the other person’s perspective is 50% or less which is not very effective.
The other thing you do not want is to change someone into yourself because they are their own unique person, and they bring their own strengths to the relationship. What we do in this scenario is help a partner take on the others perspective for a moment and suspend their personal point of view. This helps the one partner listen and really understand the others perspective.
To a level that is uncomfortable for the other or both parties. What happens in this scenario is the other person becomes defensive and that can cause them to go into a fight back mode or a flight mode. Again, neither of those are effective ways of working through conflict and it goes back to sweeping it under the rug or having explosive arguments. We help couples find different strategies.