Edmonton Psychologist | Relationship Conflict
Have you been spinning your wheels trying to change your insides and your relationships but getting nowhere; it might be time to see in Edmonton psychologist. In Edmonton psychologist can sit down with you and uncover the underlying issues that might be causing you to fail in relationships and ultimately feel like you are failing yourself. At rediscover psych we offer a free 15 minute consult with an Edmonton psychologist.
The great news is you can come in person, have a virtual appointment or an over the phone appointment with an affordable Edmonton psychologist. There is no referral that is needed and we have three locations to serve you best.
There are many common reasons for people failing in their relationships and ultimately feel like they are failing themselves. Because the divorce rate is so high at 40% we feel passionate about helping couples avoid that by digging gate deeper to find out what is below the arguments and the conflict that they might have in their relationships. There are three main causes for divorce which are one conflict to irretrievable breakdown in the relationship and three arguing. When couples come in they often show these conflict issues and what we offer them our communication strategies.
There are many common mistakes that people make around conflict that keeps them in the perpetual state of conflict. It is not bad to have conflict in a relationship but if it is not dealt with properly it does lead to divorce. The first mistake is trying to ignore it and letting it go without talking about it. Many times one of the spouses will try to avoid a reaction from the other spouse and therefore just pretends that nothing is bad and stuffed their feelings down.
What happens is the argument gets three played over and over and resentment builds in the relationship. What we do at rediscover is help couples find out what is underneath the argument and come to a negotiation or compromise by uncovering the value systems that are in place between the couple.
If you try to fix the other person or change them to be in agreement with your perspective this leads to butting heads on differing perspectives. Instead of trying to make someone think like you do we have couples take on the perspective of the other partner and take a moment to walk in their shoes and suspend their own point of view when they do that. This helps them to listen better and really understand their partners perspective making it easier to
Another thing that is common and is also mistake is raising our voice during an argument. This makes the other person go on the defence and to one of two things could happen. It could cause them to go into a fight mode or a flight mode. Neither of which helps work through the conflicts but rather causes more anxiety in the relationship. Just because we want to be her does not mean we should speak louder.
Edmonton Psychologist | Learn How To Conflict
If you have ever wanted to sit down with an Edmonton psychologist to learn how to communicate better or work through any issues that you might have personally now is your chance to do it. At rediscover psych we offer a free 15 minute consult with an Edmonton psychologist. The good news is you can come in, talk with us over the phone or virtually. There is no referral needed and we have three locations to serve you. I rediscover psych we help you to rediscover yourself and rediscover your connections. We offer individual, couples or family therapy we have something for everyone no matter what your needs are.
When couples come in is usually because they are finding that they are in a constant state of anxiety in their relationship so that they do not become another statistic of divorce. There are three main reasons for divorce and they are conflict, irretrievable breakdown in the relationship and three arguing when the couples come in and show that they have conflict issues we help them with their communication strategies. There are five common mistakes that usually show up around conflict.
The first mistake that is common is that couples let go of the conflict without working through it or talking about it. All they want to do is avoid their spouses reaction because it might make them feel uncomfortable or might be a scary situation. What ends up happening is the same argument comes up over and over and never really gets resolved or unpacked. What we do is help the couple find out what is underneath this argument on what the value systems are for the individual and couple. We help the couple come to a negotiation or compromise so that they can move forward in their relationship.
If you try to fix the other person or change their point of view to be like yours this causes more friction in the relationship. You tend to butt heads on differing perspectives and the argument in conflict as goes around and around and really goes nowhere. Instead we help each person flesh out their point of view so that the other person can get an understanding and even step into that perspective so they know where their partner is at.
Raising your voice in the relationship during conflict so you can be heard and understood better never works out very well. It tends to make the other person defensive and causes that person to go into a fight or flight mode. As you can tell that does not fix the conflict but grows the resentment instead. Again it does not actually even address the conflict.
A lot of couples revert to calling names or putting friends and family down and being sarcastic in the relationship this causes emotional damage over time and leads to a loss of trust and respect and fondness. This is detrimental to the relationship.