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Edmonton Psychologist | Resolving Conflict
If you are looking for an Edmonton psychologist, then you have found the right place. At rediscover psychological services we help you rediscover yourself and rediscover your connections. Many people come to us at rediscover looking for an Edmonton psychologist to help them with the many different breakdowns they have in their relationships and with themselves. What makes us a great Edmonton psychologist is that we offer in person, virtual or telephone appointments.
Maybe you have been looking for individual therapy, couples therapy or family therapy the great news is we offer all of those. We treat anxiety, depression, and PTSD. We can offer you a free 15-minute consult and there is no referral that is necessary. We also had three locations to serve you best: one downtown one in the West End and one at Fulton Place.
A lot of common mistakes are made by couples that can lead to divorce. There are three common causes of divorce. They are conflict, irretrievable breakdown in the relationship and arguing. When it comes to conflicts there are five common mistakes that people make around this. These mistakes typically lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
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The first mistake that most make in conflict is when it arises, they do not know how to deal with it and so instead of talking about it they end up letting it go and avoiding their partners reaction. This in time turns into the same argument over and over. There is no resolve, and it just feels like you are going in circles. One of the ways that were rediscover helps you get through this hurdle is not by offering a resolution in the relationship, but it is about uncovering what is underneath this argument.
The focus it will be on finding what is down deep. Typically, the result is a negotiation or compromise. There are many values goings on by the individual and in the couple that are not necessarily the same in between the two people. The goal is to uncover what these values are and help each other to understand the value systems that are at play.
Another major mistake around conflict made by couples is trying to fix the other person and ultimately change their perspective. One person feels right and wants to make the other person see their point of view. What typically happens is two heads but up against each other with differing perspectives. Instead of trying to make pert other person take on your perspective rediscover helps you flesh out what these perspectives are so that you can understand each other in the relationship.
One partner will choose to listen to the other and adopt their perspective while listening. They need to suspend their own point of view while they are doing this. This leads to a reconnection instead of a breakdown in the relationship. The goal is not to change no person point of view because that happens 50% or less of the time.
Edmonton Psychologist | Negotiation
Finding a good Edmonton psychologist can be a challenge. At rediscover psychological services we offer many therapists and services that will help you rediscover yourself and rediscover your relationships. Many people come to us looking for help around issues of conflict. As an Edmonton psychologist we do not stop people from having conflict but rather help with the communication strategies when dealing with conflict. The goal is never to read a relationship of the conflict but more to learning how to do it effectively so that you can still be an individual but have a healthy relationship.
There are common causes of divorce and conflict is the number one reason. It is not the conflict that causes the divorce but how people deal with it an unhealthy way. Couples come in showing that they have conflict issues and then our Edmonton psychologist helps them move through those issues.
One of the first mistakes that people make in conflict is when it arises, they just let it go without talking about it. What they are trying to do is just avoid the spouse’s reaction. This usually looks like a and argument that goes on and on and keeps coming back around and around. It is the same argument repeatedly.
Clearly nothing is being resolved or being discovered. The point is not to find a resolution but rather find out what is underneath the argument. What we do at rediscover is help the couple learned negotiation and compromise techniques by discovering what the value system is in the couple’s relationship and in the individual.
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Another common mistake that couples make is trying to fix the other person as well as change their point of view. Two people are coming together with two different perspectives and that is the beauty of a relationship. We would not want to all be the same as the next person because that would be boring. The hard thing about relationships is appreciating that other perspective instead of butting heads against it all the time just because it is different.
You will likely have a 50% chance or less of changing those perspectives some of the time. So instead, our psychologist helps flesh out the point of view so we can see what exactly is happening. One partner takes on the other partner’s point of view for a moment and suspends their own perspectives so that they can understand the other person instead of staying in heated conflict.
Another way that people have made mistakes when in conflict is raising their voice. We tend to speak louder so that the other person will hear us better or understand us better. This usually has the opposite effect. The other person becomes defensive, and it causes them to go into fight or flight mode.
If you have felt that you have exhibited any of these conflict mistakes we offer in person, virtual or telephone appointments to help you work through this with an affordable psychologist. This could be individual, couples or a family. No referral is needed.